When God Opened His Door for Me

I was on my way back to the city when I took this. The clouds caught my eyes so
i made my shot. This photo was taken at the port of Costa Marina Resort, Island Garden City of Samal.

Be Watchful of Your Words...

Have you ever been insulted,
Or have you lost your self esteem,
Or been discouraged about what somebody
have said against you?

My dear friends,
words are just words.
But it's power gives greater pain
than being shot by a gun.
You may not agree but that's how I see it.

Words can be very painful that they
could leave scars that could affect your life
and carry it throughout the years.

I was hit by painful words.
Yes, once, twice and even thousand times.
But it's okay because I could handle things.
How about those the weak?

I know there were times that I've been harsh.
When my mouth utters words that are possibly painful.
But after each harshness were realizations
that what I did was wrong.
That it could cause someone to lose his/her confidence
that could of course affect his future.

Words could have different impact on someone.
They are powerful.
There are inspirational, there are killers.
They can kill someone who is not strong enough
to look at the other side of it.
On the other hand, they could inspire
someone to be successful.

I had been stoned by words a thousand times...
and a thousand times I lost my trust in myself...
after a few downfalls, I have stood up a thousand and one times...
those words became my foundation of who I am now...

It all taught me not to be too much attached to anyone...

I will sail with you no matter what...

I will sail with you no matter what..., originally uploaded by © dabawenya © (Amor Magno).

this is one of my photos embedded with few thoughts from deep inside...

INLOVE with EPL

EAT.PRAY.LOVE. Until now, I still cannot get over with this movie that I'm

inlove with. I've watched it twice already but I wanted to watch it again.

I want to have a DVD of it. The movie was based from the EAT PRAY LOVE

book written by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Few days after my 2nd viewing of EPL, my family went to SM to watch

movie. And there's this huge EAT PRAY LOVE board. Sad to say that

I didn't bring my camera so please bear with the photos as they're only taken

with my E63 phone...

My Wish Right Now

while i was walking home,
i looked at the sky.
the sky is cloud-free.
yes, it is!
i could see the stars clearly,
shining so freely and brightly.
the moon is almost full in shape.

wow! i miss those star gazing moments...
at dawn with my father way back my province days...
at night with my neighbors during blackouts,
still way back province nights...
at the roof of my neighbor during college days...
at the roof of the house where i'm at now,
that was when i was still new here...
at the beach with my officemates,
that was during the christmas party two years ago,
while we're having our midnight swimming...
at hilltop celebrating pia's birthday until 12 midnight...
oh! how could i forget those star gazing moments!
waiting and counting falling stars...

how i wish i could just rush at hilltop right now,
of course with friends talking about nonsense...
or talk about serious thing in life.

that's my wish right now...

If Only

It's too late...
Did it ever happen to you?

The after realizing the chances wasted,
the words "IF ONLY" come out...
And there's no more second chances.
I'm pretty sure it happened to you...

I have just watched this movie, IF ONLY...
A man who loves his woman but he's too busy
that he couldn't find time to show it.

When one day, his woman got involved in a terrible accident and died...
Fate miraculously intervened and gave the man a second chance...

I have tons of IF ONLYs in my entire life...
It's like I can't get over from something or someone...
Which leaves me the questions of What Ifs...

If that happens to you, what would you do?
If you're given second chances,
What will you do?

For some years ago until now,
I take most of the opportunities the world has offered me...
I appreciate everything I have...
I give time to anyone who asks for my time...
I appreciate every single second, every minute, every day...
Whether alone or with someone...
When I have nothing to do,
I give myself time walking alone somewhere,
enjoying every happenings within the surroundings...

Life is short...
We don't know if there'd be second chances...
Enjoy every minute of it...
Grab every opportunity of second chances...
For when death takes place,
There'd be no more chances for IF ONLYs....

If today is your last day to live, how will you spend it?

It Just Happened

i was waiting for my turn to throw the balls at a duck pin tourney...
i was just staring at the "not so shiny" bowling lane...
thoughts empty, eyes barely blink, body barely move...

when suddenly...

at a blink of my eyes i saw this guy...
tall, dark and i don't know if he's really handsome...
i think he's in mid-30s but he looks mature...
hah! i caught myself staring at him...
he's like throwing the balls in a slow motion...

and i told myself - it's him...
it's like him that i wanted...
i don't know if i would ever see him again...
but i have already figured out clearly who I wanted...
not specific but at least i know that i wanted someone like him...
i don't know him but i like the way he carries himself...

that kind of guy will really change me for sure...
oh, i might just be dreaming...
maybe i'm just hungry...
i would better hit the sheets now...
and dream of my guy... hahahaha

i just saw him... it just happened...

good morning!

Unsettled Soul

i am speaking in behalf of this unsettled soul,
housing in a human's body...

i am happy and at the same time in pain...

happy because ...
i am in a place i can now call "HOME."
i was able to spend time with the people i love.
i was able to fix a few hang-ups i've had with few people.
i have already found one of the few that i have lost...

now, i am happy but still there are missing pieces...
there are still hang-ups that this soul wants to settle...

this soul have tried to to reach out to someone...
someone who'd been a part of her past...
trying to do anything to reach out...
done what part to be done...
yet it seems it's never enough...

this soul will remain unsettled...
until the plead to speak with you is granted...

The Power of Music

do you believe in the power of music?
how much do you love music?

music to me is a medicine.
a medicine to every soul.
when somebody's happy, he sings.
when somebody's sad, he listens to music.

music has been my companion for like years already.
it helps me express my feelings.
my type of music depends on my mood.
i can go along with all types though.
mostly, i relate my life to it.
i might not be able to memorize each line,
but i appreciate music with good lyrics.

i always start and end my day with music.
on my way to work and on my way home.
or when i go anywhere alone.
when in a long trip or even at home.

when i want to praise God's goodness,
i listen to gospel songs and sing along.
when i'm asleep, i put my earphone on.
i can always relate my life to music.

i am a music lover.
music fills my soul.
i believe in the power of music.

Bye Bye Paratubal Cyst

it was june 8, 2010 when i've had my longest and painful tests..,
it was on the same day,
my doctor said that i have to undergo an exploratory laparotomy operation...
that i should be ready as early as possible...
that when i'm ready, i need to comply several lab tests for clearance...
i was scared...
we sought for a second opinion from an ob-gyne friend...
her opinion is the same...
i was scared more...
it took me 9 days to decide...
so i complied the required lab tests on the 17th...
and i was scheduled for general surgery on the 23rd...

i could still remember how anxious i was days before the operation..
i always have a bad temper...
there'd be times people can't talk to me...
i always am into deep thinking...
even before i was sedated...

see how time flies so fast...
it's already a month since i was operated ...
today indeed is the 1st month...
the pain is still there but there's a relief...
a relief that there's no more cyst inside me...
that there's no more pill to take everyday...
no more ultrasounds every 5th day of my period...
no more anxiety...
it's gone... my paratubal cyst is gone...

since it's already a month that passed,
let me share my experience...

june 22.2010.
as ordered by the doctor to be admitted between 2:00-3:00 pm,
i was admitted at around 2:34pm, accompanied by my mother.
at past 4:00pm, the nurse gave me 4 tabs of laxative (dulcolax)...
the medicine effected past 9:00pm...
doctors came with so many questions...
the asst. of the anesthesiologist paid a visit...
explaining everything...

june 23.2010.
i woke up early with mixed emotions (3:00am)...
there was an uneasy feeling...
i saw mom prayed,i grabbed the rosary given by a friend and prayed...
i took a bath at past 4:00am...
mom was still praying...
at past 5:00am, the nurse came and gave me fleet enema...
then before i was pushed to the operating room,
the nurse injected something in my right arm to relax my muscle...
and then i was transferred to the stretcher and was pushed to the operating room...
i was so uneasy at the operating room...
different kinds of apparatus were attached to me...
i asked the nurse so many questions...
and i kept looking at the monitor's clock...
7:50 something, the anesthesiologist came...
he injected the first dose of sedative to make me sleep...
then they let me position just like a baby in the womb...
he last thing i remembered was the injection of the 2nd dose of sedative in my IV...

(to be continued)

early morning thoughts

what am i doing in this dark room?
i could have been sleeping still,
wake up and prepare for work.
but why am i awake so early?
what have i been doing few hours ago?
why can't i sleep that long?
like others who can't even be awakened easily...

what i feel now?
i don't know...
it's like i am bombarded with so many thoughts...
if i only have days to live, what should i do?
will i ever see those people i wanna see?
will i ever be able to thank those people who have been a part of my life?
will i ever have the chance to thank those who prayed for me?
will i ever make it - ask pardon to those i have hurt so much?
will i ever have enough time to let some people know they've hurt me?
will i ever have the chance to see those people
that i have only met online?
will i ever have the chance to shoot in anawangin
with my fellas?
will i ever have the courage to tell few people that i care for them so much
and that i couldn't just show it?
how about spending some time alone with God?
will i ever let people see what i truly feel?
and what they see is just me, physically?
that they need to dig deeper so that
they will know who i am for real?
that i am human and has the right to get mad...
that i have a heart that is capable to love?
that i also hurt?
that there is still good in me?
that when i commit mistakes,
i asked pardon in silence?

aren't those heavy?
anyways, i don't wanna ba dramatic...
i'll try to do some of those one at a time...
while i am still capable and still have time...
life is short...

oh.. will i ever let my readers know how i feel
while writing this note?

Untitled

everyone of us has a gift...
have you ever realized that?
what uncommon gift do you have?
i have always wanted to have the gift of healing...
healing some people's pains..
some people's wounds...

one day, i felt so alive!
went to work with a light heart...
i didn't expect i would be of help to someone...
see? when you feel you are light-hearted...
it's just like things are coming out of your human brain...
advices, comforting words and others...
experience not needed...
i thought i couldn't handle it...

i was doing something...
when a pregnant friend messaged me...
i never considered her as a disturbance...
rather, i took her as a challenge...

i rarely spend time with this friend of mine...
but every time we talk, it's so serious and
i just like it the way it is...
we have so much learning from each other...

she was asking me few things...
few things about the way she feels...
or why is she always wantng to be aloof...
i have a little bit idea of it though...
but i wasn't sure... i was only 60% sure...
i told her it might be because of her pregnancy...
i was talking to her about hormones...
i always visit my gynecologist...
that is why i have a little background about hormones & moods...
then i made a quick search on the internet...
i was right... though my intention is only to make her at ease...

i always felt blessed when people finds comfort in me...
i could learn from them...
even if i can't help them with solutions...
but spending time with them in bitter times...
and lending them my ears and my shoulders are enough..

it doesn't really mean
that if you don't have ideas about the problem
you can't help or comfort someone...
most of the times, they don't need words from you...
they don't need advices...
just listen to them...
hear them...
that is all they wanted...

but when they really wanted you to say something,
and you don't have any idea...
try to find comforting words...
don't add to the pain they're feeling...

Wasted Opportunity

opportunities come rarely to someone...
an opportunity knocked at my door...
but i was so busy to open at least my window
to have welcomed it...

few days ago this month,
the sidetrip magazine editor in chief sent me a flickrmail:
she was seeking for my approval to use one of my photos
for a project travel guide - my Tabing Ilog Photo. (photo appears above)
and she needs my feedback within that day...

i was so busy with so many things nowadays...
i was no longer able to check my flickr account...
i was 7 days late to respond to her flickrmail...
i know it was too late but i still sent her the high resolution
of the photo...

and just today, she sent me an sms confirming the receipt of my mail...
but the project was already done... i was late...

i have wasted an opportunity...
it could have been the beginning of something...
something that i could be proud of...
my photo used in a travel magazine...
could have been a good feeling...
i missed it...

anyways, they say another better opportunity will come soon...
it's okay...
at least i know that few people are eyeing on my photos...
regardless of the number of comments...

ms. sol, thanks for the opportunity to communicate with you...
at least it made me feel proud that one of my photos was shortlisted
to be included in your travel magazine..
sorry that i replied too late...
i also hope to work with you in your future projects...

Change Begins with Choice

change has the biggest role in my life...
it has a huge impact on me...
i will not be who i am now if not of change..
and the choice i made...
it though have different results...
could it be positive or the other way...

i remembered a good friend telling me that people change...
that is why that friend is no longer the friend i've known...
yes... that was simply change...
i value people...
i value friends especially the good ones...
it hurts me a lot and it took me years to forget...
but i chose to let go... and that changed me...

to initially assess myself i am who i am now
because i choose to change...
people have told me i am this and i am that...
they become my mirror...
i've heard a lot of negative comments...
yes, i was hurt but i was thankful,
i cried and stood up...
with eagerness to improve somethings in me...
questions coming in...
as well as choices...
usually it's "do i want to be like this?"
or "will i just be someone of no purpose?"
then there were answers and "what ifs"...

i was once a loner...
literally a loner...
i would go to malls alone...
watch movie alone...
because i have this principle...
that friends can never stay by your side "always"..
they have their life too...
as a loner, i even stay at my grandparents' tomb and talk to them...
they were my outlet when i need to cry...
or when life is bitter...
crazy isn't it?
or i read a book there...

but i need to change it...
i thought i was really crazy... (ROTFL)
thank God He gave me time to change...
i've made a lot of thinking...
formulated a lot of choices...
now look at me...
i may not be perfectly happy...
but i love my life now...
because i choose to be happy...
people may not notice because i'm not that flashy...
but man! I AM HAPPY!

change begins with choice...
you make choices...
either you get stagnant?
or will you just let people treat you like that?
or go beyond your comfort zone...
but always remember that when you make choices, there are risks...
consider them...
get the factors that will be affected...
ask yourself which can you handle...

life is the sum total of the choice we made...

CHOOSE TO CHANGE!

goodbye 28, hello 29

wow! look at how time flies so fast!
i wonder what's in store for me at 29...

during my 28,
at these times, i was in a hospital.
not that my mom gave birth to me again.
but i with the whole family was nursing mom.
though she wasn't in an intensive care,
but her life was critical that she almost
left my family and me at 28.

few days after she was discharged from the hospital,
my father, my niece and her mother met a car accident.
went to the site with my sister very early in the morning.
the cab was
good thing was my dad was okay.
he was hugging my bloody niece.
my niece's mom was at the road side,
rescued by the 911.
that was the very first time i took a 911 ambulance.
spent the whole day at the hospital,
shaking while trying to give help.
my sister was crying asnd asked me
why is it happening one after the other.

after few months,
my future was put to risk.
threats were mouthed at me.
body was deteriorating,
lots of illnesses visiting me.
mind was bothered.
fears went gone and anger came in.
i felt pain inside my heart.
criticism came in and out of my ears.

i was just thankful.
despite of everything,
i was able to manage my emotions.
and things went back to its place.

and now,
i am bidding goodbye to the bitterness of 28.

i started the year right with my family,
in preparation to welcome my 29.

hello 29!

The History of the FLICKR-holic Indio

Nowadays, many are addicted to flickr. I am one of them. For the benefit of those who are not familiar with flickr, please visit Flickr on Wikipedia .

I became a member of flickr in the 19th of June 2005. I have uploaded photos for the sake of having an online album. I was not into photography that time. I uploaded some photos of friends and some memories just like in friendster, facebook and multiply. I have also uploaded some personalized greeting cards.

In late 2007, I started to eye on good photos and admired photography until in the 1st of January 2008, I tried the first shot using my mom's point and shoot camera.



Until my photostream became a mixture of pictures intended for photography and pictures of memories with places and people.

I joined different groups in flickr and look for groups where I really think I could fit in. InMarch 2008, I joined the group flickristasindios. I have felt the warm welcome of the group and became a regular visitor in the duscussions. I don't have a DSLR that time so I just use my mom's point and shoot camera, post some photos and mingle with them in the discussion threads.

In May 6, 2008 I posted a new topic which is I think something that could build up closeness and bonding to members. Until now, I'm thankful to the members because it's still alive. To date, it has 2,591 replies.

In 1st of August 2008, I got my first D40 Nikon DSLR (bought by a friend in Peter Go's Photoshoppe in Cebu). I named him Niko.



Then I took some photos using Niko. Here's my first flickr upload:



In same month, I got my first flickr pro account. Before I go on, let me first thank the two people who supported this hobby through sponsoring my PRO account.

I would just like to thank my PRO account sponsors:

(1) Lolinda Sams(Aug 2008 - Aug 2009)
(2) Shirley Denia Ramos (Aug 2009 - Aug 2010)

Thank you!

Then I tried to combine graphics design and photography. I joined the Indios' calendar design contest. I became the contestant who first passed the design. Though I did not win, but still I am proud because I have designed a desk calendar.



Then, my life as a flickr addict and photography hobbyist started. You can visit my flickr account here.

And the hobby goes on...

In November 2, 2008, I got my first EXPLORED picture. By the way, for those who have no idea what an Explore is, please do visit the site FAQS about Explore. I took the photo after my Toastmaster's ice breaker speech.



I was shocked because there are more than one blogger using thisphoto. I remembered the #1 user seeking for my permission. Here are some sites using this photo:

1. Now Public's Writing Dilemma by Sara Star



NowPublic is a place where you can make, break, shape, and share the news that matters to you — as it happens. We are the largest and fastest-growing participatory news network in the world, with thousands of contributing members from over 140 countries.

Unlike traditional news organizations, NowPublic is an open community that enables everyone to participate in the newsmaking process. Whether you're interested in being an eyewitness "on the scene" reporter, a newshound that seeks out stories about topics that interest you, or any combination of editor, writer, blogger, photographer, videographer, avid commenter, or even a general news enthusiast — NowPublic lets you define the news agenda.



2. Writing


3. Top 3 Marketing Tips


4. If Serious About Blogging, Write Better


5. Discover More About Yourself Through Blogging


6. Understanding Freelance Writing


7. What Kind of Writing Do You Do?


8. Group Writing: The Poorest Time in My Life


9. Writing Meme: What and How I Write


10. How to Work at Home and Make Money Online


11. Article Marketing is About How to Sell Yourself


12. Steps to Write Better Posts on Your Blog


13. Direct Sales Article Marketing


14. How to Manage


15. The Basics of a Non-Profit Grants


16. Helium vs. Hubpages - The Statistics


17. How to Write Your Book and Get Paid to It


18. Writing


19. 5 Risorse Per Diventare Scrittore Professionista

Then, Explored photos keep coming in. And my loyality to the group became intense(tama ba yan? ump!). Memebers visiting Davao City would never froget to communicate and meet me and the other members who are in the city.

Then I met Ate Norly, the first Indio I've met. Along with her were stuffs sent by Kuya Jo to me.





Then I met Kuya Ding and other Indios in Davao(Maggy & Ate Jo).



The I became more proud of the group because the activities does not only involve photography but also in helping the community. The group was already acknowledged by Yahoo(the owner of flickr). And the number of members keeps on growing!

The group had our first photo exhibit.



Then, I had my first photoshoot woth the Davao-based Indios the day after Christmas.



In January 2009, I started to dp something beyond photography. I started to enter into the world of photo processing - HDR (High Dynamic Range). Here's my first attempt:



In March 2009, I met another Indio, Kuya Abdul with my other friends who share same passion with me.



Then, in late March 2009, another Indio came to the city for an OB. I met him with some of my Davao Light pals.



That was same date when I had my first win in the group's Hamon (photo contest). The theme was "Light Painting" and here's my entry:



Ang here's what I got as a prize which I donated to Kuya Uckhet's birthday mamam... a Chivas Regal!



And just after the Holy Week, I had my 2nd Xcelerator experience with the Indios-Davao.



And the other day, I received Flickr stuffs from a friend. Thanks, Kev.

That's all for now, folks.... back to normal programming... :)

My 2nd INDIO HAMON Winning Photo

Haaaayyy... kakapagod! Maaga nga kaming pinauwi dahil nga transport stike pero 6pm na ako nakarating sa bahay....

Anyways, while I was making a "silip" sa silid ng INDIOS(sa flickr po), nabigla na lang ako nang makita ko ang pangalan ko na nakarugtong sa HAMON 09 #38 ng INDIOS. Sa kasawiang palad.... Ako ang nanalo! Pangalawang panalo ko na po sa HAMON. Minsa lang po ako sumasali... Eto po ang entry ko sa HAMONG: DON'T TOUCH MY BIRDIE.....



Maraming salamat po sa bumoto dito sa entry ko....

Ako po'y nahihirapan nung kunan ko ang hayop na iyan. Mahirap pong matyempuhan ang pagharap niya sa camera. Pinoposisyon ko po kasi ang camera ko kung saan po na hindi makikita ang cyclone wire na naging kulungan niya. pangalawang beses ko po siyang binalikbalikan kasi po sa tuwing nakaready na po ako, likod niya agad ang pinapaharap niya sa lente ko. Ang sakit pa naman ng kagat ng araw.....

Wala lang po... share ko lang... hehehehehhe...

More Than a Year of Flickr Addiction

This photo is for my 1st year of FLICKR ADDICTION. I had been registered to flickr for more than 2 years but I was addicted to flickr only last January of 2008. And because life had been so hard since 2009 started( thank God it's all over), that is why I made something for my more than a year of flickr addiction only this time.

This is my 2nd upload for the month of May and it's been more than a month that I have not visited flickr regularly because of my busy life (work, tennis class, and etc.). I don't even have photo shoots these days because I couldn't free my mind from worrying about some things. My eyes couldn't see beautiful things through my lens right now and I promise, when things fall back to its place, I will be back to my regular programming hehehehe...

No matter how busy life is, I still find time to visit flickr (watch mode nga lang)... therefore, I still consider myself as FLICKR ADDICT.


Salamat nga pala sa mga grupong tumanggap sa akin ng buong-buo at sa mga pro account sponsors ko... Maraming salamat po!

Lady In Red

Got this fellow commuter beside me today. When she stepped into the PUJ, she caught the eye of everybody. She was wearing a red knitted blouse, her fingernails were painted red, her bag was red and she was wearing a lot of jewelries(ring on her fingers including the butterfly ring, bracelets, necklace & a pair of earings). She took her phone from her bag and 'twas colored red.

I told myself she must have loved red or it's her birthday. Before I stepped off the PUJ, she took a call from her mom, I guess. And my being "chismosa" came out. She even speaking in dabawenya or mandaya (The language I used in our province. I think she's just from a nearby province because we have different accent or say modulation.) She was saying thank you to her caller and told her about the lechon, the butterfly ring, the necklace with the anchor pendant. Then I was quite confident to guess that it's really her birthday.

Why is red significant during birthdays? I remembered few birthdays ago, my friends would say I should wear red. What's with the red on birthdays, anyways?

To the lady in red and to all who have celebrated their birthdays today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

A Gift as my Tool

Got a call yesterday from the incharge of our pigeonhole. She told I have something from Ms. Jovy, a friend from Cebu. When I opened it, it's a small box with cards of quote in it. The quotes are about friendship - extending network of friends and making the friendship both young and old healthy. I will have this gift as my tool in making my friendship with others grow.

This morning, I took the first card that says, "Life is full of people who will make you laugh, cry, smile until your face hurts, and so happy that you think you'll burst. But the ones who leave their footprints on your soul are the one that keep your life going."

I gotta tell you that I am rich. I don't have properties & wealth but I am rich. I have lots of friends! And I'm still extending my network of friends. I meet new people every now and then. The thing is that not all friends could be with you all the time. No offense but that's a fact! They also have their things to do. But of course, old friends should be treasured. Laugh, smile & cry with them. There are times wherein you should meet and give updates about what's happening to them. And be there when needed.

Some friends come and just go! Some are good & some are true. Some are those you see regularly. But even if some did go, they somehow have left footprints on your soul. I have friends who I no longer see. I failed to let ém stay. But it's their choice and all I can do is just to understand. But of course, no matter how hard it was, feeling left but still I love ém and they're still important to me.

I have learned so many things from my friends. I am thankful for having them. All of ém...