i was happy until i found love

i speak in behalf of someone i know...

i know a lot will react on this...
but i am just a soul who feels the other way...
it's how i feel and this is my way of relief...
you might say i don't have the right to discuss love...
or you might ask what do i know about love?

in the dictionary,
love is strong positive emotion of regard and affection...
but for me love = pain...
God have loved...
isn't it painful to let your His Son suffer because He loved us?
where is that positive emotion then?
or maybe love should really be matched with pain...

years ago-
i was happy...
i was contented...
i got along with people easily...
i always smile...
i had a light heart...
i was free...
when i fell in love-
it was a disaster...
i felt pain before i have realized it was love...
funny isn't it?
it was expressed but it wasn't meant to be...
and i have realized letting go isn't that easy...
the bitterness and pain stayed for a while...
until after more than a year...

i have totally recovered...
i have realized love isn't just from someone...
then i started recognizing the love of friends and family...
i went back to enjoying life...
how nice it is to live freely?
no asking permission from someone...
no one tells you what to do...
nobody's waiting...
no worries....
i have done everything i wanted to do...

until i found love the the second time...
i started appreciating it...
i started to like the feeling of loving...
when it suddenly broke me apart...
it was a sudden...
now, it leaves me wounds...

then i told myself...
I WAS HAPPY UNTIL I FOUND LOVE...

is love really like that?
or like what a friend is saying,
i was just looking at the other side of the coin?

--------------------------
to those who love, keep loving...
to those who have love and lost it,
let go and move on...
maybe it's not yet at the right timing...
life doesn't end when love ends... :)
cheerup!

Wasted Opportunity

opportunities come rarely to someone...
an opportunity knocked at my door...
but i was so busy to open at least my window
to have welcomed it...

few days ago this month,
the sidetrip magazine editor in chief sent me a flickrmail:
she was seeking for my approval to use one of my photos
for a project travel guide - my Tabing Ilog Photo. (photo appears above)
and she needs my feedback within that day...

i was so busy with so many things nowadays...
i was no longer able to check my flickr account...
i was 7 days late to respond to her flickrmail...
i know it was too late but i still sent her the high resolution
of the photo...

and just today, she sent me an sms confirming the receipt of my mail...
but the project was already done... i was late...

i have wasted an opportunity...
it could have been the beginning of something...
something that i could be proud of...
my photo used in a travel magazine...
could have been a good feeling...
i missed it...

anyways, they say another better opportunity will come soon...
it's okay...
at least i know that few people are eyeing on my photos...
regardless of the number of comments...

ms. sol, thanks for the opportunity to communicate with you...
at least it made me feel proud that one of my photos was shortlisted
to be included in your travel magazine..
sorry that i replied too late...
i also hope to work with you in your future projects...

goodbye 28, hello 29

wow! look at how time flies so fast!
i wonder what's in store for me at 29...

during my 28,
at these times, i was in a hospital.
not that my mom gave birth to me again.
but i with the whole family was nursing mom.
though she wasn't in an intensive care,
but her life was critical that she almost
left my family and me at 28.

few days after she was discharged from the hospital,
my father, my niece and her mother met a car accident.
went to the site with my sister very early in the morning.
the cab was
good thing was my dad was okay.
he was hugging my bloody niece.
my niece's mom was at the road side,
rescued by the 911.
that was the very first time i took a 911 ambulance.
spent the whole day at the hospital,
shaking while trying to give help.
my sister was crying asnd asked me
why is it happening one after the other.

after few months,
my future was put to risk.
threats were mouthed at me.
body was deteriorating,
lots of illnesses visiting me.
mind was bothered.
fears went gone and anger came in.
i felt pain inside my heart.
criticism came in and out of my ears.

i was just thankful.
despite of everything,
i was able to manage my emotions.
and things went back to its place.

and now,
i am bidding goodbye to the bitterness of 28.

i started the year right with my family,
in preparation to welcome my 29.

hello 29!

Looking Forward to a Very Great Week

Uhmmm.. Well, I'm having a great day! I've had a stressful week last week. Maybe because I've never put my eyes to rest that well. As always, I sleep late than a normal person. I work for the whole day, six times every other week. When I reach home, I usually go directly to my little room forgetting dinner, wash, change clothes, simultaneously turn my pc and eepc on, whenever I feel the presence of sleep visiting me, I sometimes fight sleep just to complete my routine of visitng few sites - friendster, multiply, flickr, photoworldcup, facebook and other activities like photo processing... I am not really a sleep junkie. My eyes could survive to be awake for almost 24 hours or more but my body can't.

Lately, I have experienced eye pain. Maybe because I have stopped wearing my contact lens or my glasses. That added the stress I've had last week. I easily get tired and I have observed I'm already in bed at 11PM. Now, am wearing them back but not all the time. Life started to run smoothly as of yesterday morning. I woke up late at around 11AM. Yeah, of course because I slept late last Saturday. I had a YM conference with my flickr groupies and it lasted at almost 2AM of Sunday.

My Sunday was great! I was a bit pressured trying to finish my online task given by cubrix.com but the pressure was tolerable.

I woke up this early morning. Yehey, earlier than my alarm! Of course, I arrived at my office desk as early as 7:15AM.

I'm having a great day! I have already thought about a great week. 2 days work, then holiday break(Eid'l Fitr), then 2 days back to work and then 2-day break from work! Yuhooo....

My 'Kada Opisina' is planning to go somewhere in Tawan-Tawan this Holiday Break. I'm so excited because I always heart to go to places away from the busy city if I could. The plan's first stop is at my ka-opisina's farm and the next stop will be at the Philippine Eagle. Hmmm... been looking forward to be back to that spot. My last visit was 10 years ago, I might say. Hopefully, I could see changes there.

I'm looking forward to a very great week!

Dah.... can't wait! So, excited!

I'll blog about it, don't cha worry!