I Failed to Save A Life.... Again...

Image by : anglgirl1976

Blood is life...

Every year, the company that I work for holds its Mass Blood Donation Drive in cooperation with the Philippine Red Cross.

Last year, my intention to donate blood and save life was rejected because of my period. My last day was the day prior to the Mass Blood Donation Drive. I failed to save life...

Yesterday was the company's Annual Blood Dondation Drive and was again a failure for me. I've done the efforts prior to yesterday.... I slept for 8 hours, I did not take alcoholic drinks, I did not drink coffee and I drink lots of water.

I woke up so excited that finally I could donate a blood. I went to the room and confidently presented myself as first timer(but my 2nd attempt). I happily filled-up the form.

When the PRC officer put me to the first test, she told me I cannot donate blood. I am a floater - the sample of my blood did not sink to the bottom of the container filled with solution - my homoglobin(Hb) is just enough. I failed...

I failed to save life and to know what a blood donor feels when they save lives - for the second time.

I wanted to donate blood because I want to save life - to be a person living life with a purpose. That is one of my ways to be of purpose.

I know a bit of how it feels to those who need blood. Last year in October, I almost needed some. I was hospitalized for dengue. Only my sister and my helper were there. I did not feel that I was sick because I was so active - I do things without assistance while in the hospital. While my sister was asleep and the helper went home to get my sister's unifrom(she can't leave more than a hundred patients), the nurse informed me that my platelette went down to 60. When the nurse left, I hid under the blanket and sob. What if I need blood transfusion? Where can I ask help to get blood? Whose blood will be transfused in my veins? Will it hurt? Dad, Mom, where are you?

Good thing that I was not advised for a blood transfusion. From 60, my platelette increased to 70 then up, up, and up until I was advised to go home... Thanks to Sir Fermin for the standby help in case I will be needing blood.

Blood is life... that's what I realized. That is why my eagerness to donate blood was increased. Lots of people at the hospital needs blood. I wanted to save at least one of them...

I will do my best that next year, I could be able to give blood. In the meantime, I will find other ways to be a person of purpose...

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Despite of What Had Happened, I Still Thank God

The beginning of February was not good for me and my family. It gave us a lot of drama.

Just before February hit the calendar, January 29, 2009, Thursday, my mom, my dad and my niece traveled 7 hours to be here on my birthday which falls every 1st day of February. They planned to come early because they wanted to have their selves checked up by Friday.

When I reached home at around 9.00pm of January 29, my mom opened the door for me. Then she went back to her bed but she was just sitting. She couldn't sleep. She's having a difficulty to breathe. She told me she's just okay. But before midnight, my dad called my sister and I went out of my room telling everyone to prepare because we're bringing mom to the hospital. We made it. Mom was rescued. She was given an oxygen and tests were done. She was diagnosed with pneumonia and the doctor found out she's developed an asthma. Things became complicated. Her blood pressure and her sugar count were fluctuating. She took a lot of medicines plus the injectable ones. She's being injected with insulin every time her sugar count reaches 200 and above. I could really see mom fighting to live. I became hopeful when my sister messaged me that mom is no longer oxygen dependent. I was even afraid to stay overnight at the hospital but I really have to because no one's going to take care of her since everybody's also working. I've spent my birthday at the hospital taking care of my mom. With God's grace & mercy, mom was discharged from the hospital at the 6th day, February 5, 2009. That was Thursday.

Things have changed after days. I go home early every after office hours. I want to stay home because it's very rare that the whole family's gathered home.

Sunday morning, February 8, 2009 before 5.00am, dad and my niece with her mother hit the road going back to Baganga. Mom was left home to fully recover. I went back to sleep when my phone rang. It was my dad in his shaky voice telling me they had an accident. He asked me to go to the site. I hurriedly changed my clothes & asked my sister to accompany me. We left brother to take care of mom. I really couldn't understand the feeling. I am very much worried because we also need to keep mom calm and we're attending to victims at site.

When sister & I reached the site, I saw dad. Thank God he's okay. I looked at my niece and saw her with blood on her face & clothes. I gave her a hug while my eyes looked for her mom. I saw her mom lying at the side of the road while 911 tried to bandage her fractured arm.

Riding in a two 911 mobile we rushed them to the nearest hospital. My sister accompanied my niece & I accompanied her mom at the other mobile. Tests were made & both of them temporarily accommodated at the infirmary. Thank God both were conscious.

After buying the necessary materials & meds, I started to realize that I have conquered my fear for awhile. The shock is still here. And now, I feel sick. Amidst of what had happened, there are still things to be thankful about. I am really thankful to God because what happened to mom occured 12 hours after they arrived in the city and what happened to my dad & my niece & her mom happened within the city where there's a lot of residents who could help them. I forgot to thank those people but I asked God to send our thanks to them for the help. All happened in the city where help is there - the people, the 911, and rest of my family & friends.

Those days were hard for me and the rest of the family but thank God we all made it. I have seen all the efforts we've exerted. There was team work. I know that was very hard for dad emotionally. Because he was almost a victim of that accident. He took the courage to maneuver the car not to complicate the situation. My siblings & I also took the effort to help each other. I saw my sister's already tired. She's a nurse and she managed to be there always. She's taking care of her patients for 8 hours at the hospital where she works and the rest of her time was spent taking care of our patients(mom, my niece & her mom). God is good that He gave her the stength. I could see she's tired and I know she was also asking God the questions I asked Him, "What happened? Why this happened? From one after the other?" My heart felt pain when I saw my sister crying. I was praying she wouldn't give up. And God gave her strength. Iwould say thank you to my dad, mom, bro, sister for not giving up. Thanks to those who gave their support in prayers and to those who visited.

Those were the stressful days and thank God & Ate Ca for the break last Sunday. I had an unplanned getaway - photo shoot at Marilog, in a private rest house owned by a chinese family who had a business in the city. It's like I'm getting back my smile stolen by worries. I love the place and I feel relieved. Thanks to Mrs. King for being so kind. How I wish I could have a week stay there. Away from the crowded and polluted city.

Above all, thanks to God for being so good!

Lady In Red

Got this fellow commuter beside me today. When she stepped into the PUJ, she caught the eye of everybody. She was wearing a red knitted blouse, her fingernails were painted red, her bag was red and she was wearing a lot of jewelries(ring on her fingers including the butterfly ring, bracelets, necklace & a pair of earings). She took her phone from her bag and 'twas colored red.

I told myself she must have loved red or it's her birthday. Before I stepped off the PUJ, she took a call from her mom, I guess. And my being "chismosa" came out. She even speaking in dabawenya or mandaya (The language I used in our province. I think she's just from a nearby province because we have different accent or say modulation.) She was saying thank you to her caller and told her about the lechon, the butterfly ring, the necklace with the anchor pendant. Then I was quite confident to guess that it's really her birthday.

Why is red significant during birthdays? I remembered few birthdays ago, my friends would say I should wear red. What's with the red on birthdays, anyways?

To the lady in red and to all who have celebrated their birthdays today, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

A Gift as my Tool

Got a call yesterday from the incharge of our pigeonhole. She told I have something from Ms. Jovy, a friend from Cebu. When I opened it, it's a small box with cards of quote in it. The quotes are about friendship - extending network of friends and making the friendship both young and old healthy. I will have this gift as my tool in making my friendship with others grow.

This morning, I took the first card that says, "Life is full of people who will make you laugh, cry, smile until your face hurts, and so happy that you think you'll burst. But the ones who leave their footprints on your soul are the one that keep your life going."

I gotta tell you that I am rich. I don't have properties & wealth but I am rich. I have lots of friends! And I'm still extending my network of friends. I meet new people every now and then. The thing is that not all friends could be with you all the time. No offense but that's a fact! They also have their things to do. But of course, old friends should be treasured. Laugh, smile & cry with them. There are times wherein you should meet and give updates about what's happening to them. And be there when needed.

Some friends come and just go! Some are good & some are true. Some are those you see regularly. But even if some did go, they somehow have left footprints on your soul. I have friends who I no longer see. I failed to let ém stay. But it's their choice and all I can do is just to understand. But of course, no matter how hard it was, feeling left but still I love ém and they're still important to me.

I have learned so many things from my friends. I am thankful for having them. All of ém...

Random Thoughts

Evaluating ones self is tough.
Years ago, I always ask myself,"Who am I?"
I have answers but all products of my doubt.
Everything's not clear.
Not even my hobbies & interests.
I could not pick one.
If I could, it's not permanent.
Sort of "I love to sing now but I love dancing next week."
Ano ba talaga?
Pag-sure.. :)

Now, I could see a different me.
Maybe not a total change but better than good.
Maybe not in relationships but how to handle things.

I was quite a worrier.
An introvert after losing a bestfriend.
Someone who loves to think of problems,
But not doing something about it.
I think too much...
I entertain many questions which,
Are not supposed to be asked.
Then I find myself empty.

What changed me, anyways?
It's Stephen Covey.
I am not saying he's better than God.
But he became an instrument.
Two years ago,
The company I worked for sent me & few other employees to a training.
The training was all about self-discovery & becoming effective.
The reference of the training was that guy's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People."
It has a great impact in me.
My thanks to Stephen,
To my employer, Davao Light,
And to the two ladies who facilitated, Mia & Paula.

I have misunderstood life.
The seminar let me realized that life is what we make it.
That life is a choice & not destiny.

I have also ready Stepehen's 90/10 principle.
That's what I've been trying to practice.

After the seminar, when I'm into something,
I always ask myself," Is this what I wanted?"
"Is that what I wanted my life to be?"
"Will I let problems take over me?"
"Would I allow people to ruin my life?"
I always give myself choices.

Few months ago, I challenged myself.
I asked myself what I really wanted to do apart from work.
Then I have different answers.
Is it possible if I choose not only one?
Yes, it is. My choice!
Interests vary every now and then.
Just like when I'm just home - in my room.
I have my computer connected to the internet.
Sometimes I get bored & wanted to do something different.
Then suddenly I find myself grabbing my guitar & play.
Or when I want to release tensions,
I just pull out my dart pins & hit the board.
Or when I'm tired of browsing in the internet,
I work to enhance my skills in post processing photos.
Or I invite a friend to a photo shoot.
At least I am now doing something..
Keeping myself away from boredom..
I always keep myself busy.
I have set in mind that
"An idle mind is a devil's workshop."
And that's really true.

Have a pleasant Saturday, everyone!

Be Flexible

everything in this world changes.
that's a fact that even before was hard for me to understand.
but at least at this point, i've willingly opened my doors to that fact.
that things sometimes don't happen the way you expect them to happen.
that life's journey isn't definite.
that there's a surprising change in route uphill.

i was raised disciplined.
everything has to be in order & planned.
i have now realized that one should be flexible.
because change is just right beside you - wanting to destroy your plans.

after i was discharged from the hospital,
i could no longer make my blog a day.
why? because of a shift.
work started to hunt me... budget time!
when i have time to loosen up,
my interest was no longer into blogging.
(not to mention i have a secret blog).
because i missed niko(my dslr),
i spent mos of my free time with him.
i've met new people who're interested in photography.
we had photo shoots.

now i'm back.
but the question's how often would i make a post?
daily? twice a week? no longer definite.
is it a choice? yes it is!
but i choose not to be certain in everything now.
i choose not to expect too much from myself & from others.
experiences of too much expectation
that led to disappointment are enough to be my teacher.

everything's changing...
be flexible.

I Was Out Today...And It Rained

I was out the whole day today. I left work because I am scheduled to purchase the prizes for a raffle draw on January 25, along with 2 member of the group. It was a tiring day but thank God it's all done!

Then I was out with my officemates to celebrate Karen's birthday... when I hit the road home, it rained... and so, I went wet....

Have to sign off at this point because I have to sleep now. I need to look okay tomorrow. I have a meeting with the president...

Goodnight!

Lycky Number???

Take a look at the figure... I have just noticed that #7 was very much involved from my first day at work in 2009 upto today..

Is this number my lucky number for the year? A lucky year at work? or in general? Well, I hope it is because in the bible 7 is a good number. I just forgot the verse & the chapter. 7 symbolizes eternity in the bible.

Have a great day!

I'm Back...

My busy days started early November...
It became even more worst in December...
Different activities coming in and out...
Parties, meeting friends & acquaintances...
Meeting new people and building friendships...
Gift shopping and giving...
Work.. I had to divide time... this is what life is all about anyways...

To some friends who have not seen me during those days,
I'm sorry.
I'll make it up to you...

But now, I'm back...
That's what matters most.
I've kept my promise...

Before I started my very long vacation,
I've met a few photo-hobbyists...
We set a photo walk as the 1st & last of 2008.
That was same date with the photo walk of the Indios,
One of our flickr group.

Here's the photo of the Indios-Davao:


The day after the shoot,
I left for my hometown for a vacation.
It's always raining (not bad for me)...
I love the weather...
I missed the rain while at home....
Staying in bed, covering myself with a blanket...

New Year's day went sunny...
I went out with some friends & my sister...
I went to the beach to enjoy the view...
I took pictures...
Here's a picture of something I always miss...
The reason why I always wanted to go back HOME....